Relationship Needs

Relationship Needs

What Every Romantic Partner Desires

There are five basic relationship needs that all people desire when involved in a relationship. These relationship needs which your boyfriend, girlfriend, romantic partner, or spouse have are attention, recognition, respect, affection, and separation.

A Relationship Partner Needs Attention

All people have a need for attention at some point and time in their life. As a general rule of thumb, women need attention more than men, but both still need it. In order for a relationship to survive both partners must be willing to provide undivided attention to each other from time to time. Romantic partners want to be able to have real meaningful conversations and they want their relationship partner to take a genuine interest in their life, problems, and hobbies.

Partners in a Relationship Need Recognition

Another of the relationship needs which all people desire is recognition. Romantic partners want to feel recognition. This means they need and want someone to be proud of them and their accomplishments and cheer them on. Men most often need more recognition than women. Men are taught by society that their lovers should see them as a “hero.” Criticisms, no matter how well intended, can tear down an ego and leave a person feeling without recognition.

Those Involved in a Relationship Need Respect

Similar to the first two relationship needs, respect is a relationship need which when left unmet most often results in relationships falling apart.

Did you know self-esteem and respect are related? Self-esteem is the value we place on ourselves and the belief that we have in ourselves. It is the inner worth we feel. Respect, on the other hand, is the value other people place on us and the belief they have in us. It is the outer worth that we feel from others.

To love another is to provide them with respect. To love another is to give them both value and worth. It is both physical respect (as in no physical abuse), but it is also emotional, mental, and spiritual respect as well. To respect is to consider someone else’s thoughts and feelings and to not judge or put them down for having them.

Affection is Important for a Relationship

This is perhaps one of the biggest relationship needs which romantic partners have. Lovers, partners, boyfriends, girlfriends, and even your spouse all need affection. Human beings have a deep need to touch and be touched. It is important to understand that affection is not just sex, though sex is one way to fulfill this relationship need. No, affection involves hugging, holding hands, and kissing. In fact, how many married people still give each other a kiss once a day? You should as it helps to meet this need.

Other ways of providing affection include back rubs, playing footsies, tickling, and play fighting or wrestling.

Separation is Needed to Maintain a Healthy Relationship

Finally, the last of the relationship needs which people involved in a romance seek is separation.

It may sound strange, but people need time to themselves. Nobody likes someone clinging to them 24/7. Relationship involves two individual and independent people coming together to share life together. Just because two people are sharing their life together doesn’t mean that individuality and independence get thrown out the door!

Each romantic partner must have their own life, their own hobbies, their own friends, and their own families. Yes, relationship partners may share these with each other, but each partner must also be allowed to pursue some of those things on their own. If this doesn’t happen, many times a relationship will fail or start to fall apart. Additionally, time apart also makes time together that much more interesting and special, something for couples to really ponder over.


Posted in Love & Relationships.