Overcoming Grief

A Discussion on Grief – Part Two

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After reading A Discussion on Grief Part One, close your eyes and reflect on yourself. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do you feel more clarity about grief and how it affects us?
  • Is your present state of being something that you are fully aware of?
  • Can you identify and recognize the emotional states that you are currently experiencing?

Take your time to allow your mind to think about how you feel. If you feel tired and want to drift off to sleep, feel free to do so.

When you are ready, open your eyes, take a pen and notebook.

Make a Wish List.

Make two columns titled Subject and Wish.

First write down a subject. It could be the name of a person, place, a condition, disease or even something like a house or a hospital.

Next to it would be your wish about the subject. What you want to change.

So for example, if the subject is a person you know who is terminally ill, then you write their name. Next to it you may write that you wish he or she recovered from his or her illness. Or you may write that he or she die sooner because he or she is suffering and you know that the pain is unbearable.

Be honest. Be brave.

Once you have completed the wish list, read it and make any changes if you want to.

Now, you are ready for the next step.

The Action List.

List down the possible actions you think you should or can take to make the situation better.

  • Is there another doctor or hospital you can consult with to get a second opinion?
  • Can you try an alternative treatment?
  • Can you spend more time with the person who is suffering?
  • Will it help them and help you cope better?
  • Does the person who is dying have any dreams or desires that your actions can help fulfill?

And so on.

Be practical. Be realistic.

Now you have 2 lists. The Wish List and the Action List.

The Wish List will throw light upon the emotions that you are undergoing. The Action List will guide you to the possibilities that are available to you to change the situation or make it better.

Now, you will know what to do.

Keep adding, deleting and changing both lists.

Tell Your Story

The third and final step is to tell your story of grief.

There are many ways to do this. You can either speak to a close family member, a friend or a professional counselor. You can join online grief support groups. You can also write down your story in a journal, start an online journal, or even speak into a recorder. The objective is to face your fears, recognize your feelings and put into perspective what actions you can take.

Making the lists are important steps to take stock of the situation.

Telling the story is the therapeutic part where it can be a cathartic and emotionally healing experience.

Grief is good. It is not negative or damaging. It can purge and purify your thoughts. It is in a way, a celebration of love and life. Losing a loved one hurts and learning to love someone who is no longer with you is to understand grief.

Grief can last a lifetime but you can control how it influences you emotionally, physically and spiritually. Grief can liberate you.

Stay in touch with your emotions and you will stay in control.

A Grief Meditation

As a special gift, I’ve included a free grief meditation you can do on your own. You can either right click on the link below and save it to your hard drive, or you can just click on it to listen to it now.


Grief Meditation by John Culbertson

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